Joy and Worry

I’ve been thinking lately… I’m not usually a big worrier about things, but I do worry about some things, especially a big earthquake while we’re in Tokyo. It isn’t so much the idea of the earthquake itself, but what might happen to Gaku and Hana.

Before having Gaku and Hana, I didn’t worry so much about this kind of stuff. I suppose I worried about family members (and still do), but it’s not quite the same. I worry that something will happen to Gaku and Hana and I won’t be able to get to them when they need me. I didn’t have this feeling so much when I just had one child, but now that I have two… it would be difficult/impossible for me to carry both of them. I think I also think about it more since Gaku’s dive off the top of the steps. Standing at the bottom watching and knowing he was going to hit those concrete steps and there was nothing I could do to help him was definitely not fun. They both are completely trusting and dependent on me (and Tak). That trust and the bond with your kids are such precious things.

I just love them both so much! I want to protect them as much as I can. And that does not mean being an overprotective parent who gets upset when another kid hits or bites Gaku at daycare. That’s minor stuff and part of growing up and learning how to play nice with other kids. Both Tak and I laugh that kind of stuff off when the teachers come up and apologize profusely. (We also know that Gaku gives as good or better than he gets – something we talk to him about not doing.)

Kids really bring so much joy into your life! I just want to see them smile and laugh as much as possible.

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