Bittersweet Moment

At 7 months, Yui has basically completely stopped nursing. I have very mixed feelings about this.

Yui - 7 months

Yui – 7 months

Part of me is excited to realize that I can start wearing normal bras again! This part of me is also dismayed to realize that only 2-3 of my regular, non-nursing bras are any good. I will need to go out and buy new bras, probably for the first time in 9 years. Yikes! For most of those past 9 years, I have been either pregnant or nursing, with a few short breaks in between.

Then there is a part of me that is quite sad to be done with nursing my last baby. Those close, snuggly nursing moments are done. I will never nurse another baby. Oh, and now when she wakes up in the middle of the night, I have to go to the kitchen and make up a bottle. That sucks. But she refuses the boob now and just gets more and more pissed off until I give her the bottle. Another strong-willed, independent one. Sigh.

Yui is quite a bit like Tsubaki when it comes to snuggling. She likes to be held and snuggled, WHEN SHE WANTS IT. But most of the time, to fall asleep, she likes to be on her own in her pack ‘n play. Sometimes she will snuggle in my futon with me and go back to sleep. But more often than not, if she is in the futon with me, I fall asleep and she scootches off to get into things and try to chew on the books and electric cords. Pack ‘n play it is! If she really is sleepy and is in the futon with me, she squirms around and fusses until I put her in her bed.

Hana is my snuggly one, but at five, she is not a baby anymore. But I will take my snuggles where I can get them for as long as I can get them. All too soon they won’t want anything to do with snuggling with Mommy and Daddy. Yay! Then Mommy and Daddy can kick them out into their own rooms and snuggle together… except Daddy is too hot and steals the blankets… So, Mommy and Daddy can snuggle, and then Daddy can sleep in his own futon. Hmm… not really so different from now.

I look forward to the days when my kids can do more for themselves… get themselves dressed by themselves… feed themselves… do their homework without being nagged every five minutes… enjoy each other’s company without constantly fighting and bickering… But I am also sad to see them growing up so soon, and often wish I could freeze time and keep them as they are for just a little bit longer.

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